Gosh! Staying in this room quietly has initiated my mood to update this blog. Wait, let me place my order first. Urm, Mc Donald je la. Let start the story. It was 27th convocation, the history repeated. Everytimes I saw PhD graduan pass by stage, my heart eagerly urge me to pursue my studies. Best part is, this time, I text my previous lecturer who is currently trn out to be the head of department. Wot a great start. He willingly welcome me to join the FEA back. Im lucky as Ive also obtained positive feedback from my former fellow who is now holding a post as a Deputy Dean (PGR) at Sport Centre, MU. Join supervisor is possible. Urm, I promise my former supervisor, Dr. ALI that we will have an appointment to discuss on my research topic.
The point is, its like "hot hot chicken shit" when no follow up ever made since that. Ive been transferred to the Admission unit which doesnt permit me to start my PhD. Work constraint. Perhaps, i can leave CPS with good improvement on the admission processes. Things happen for a reason. No problem. Its Rezza's graduation day when he was on duty to hand scroll to the Deputy Dean, A&R. Since this happen before October, I should proudly called A&R. Hahha. Tetibe nada dengki kuar.
Mak ai, mcm org nk g menikah lagak gayany. Hahaha. I was with k.yan mase tu. Sambil gelak2 ckp psl mamat ni. "amboi k.yan, bkn main lagi org tua ats stage tu usha makwe br grad". We bumped several times, but he seems too busy kononnya. In fact, I try to stop him. Tapi, its lucky for not stopping him or else, definitely the whole family will be introduced to him indirectly. See? Things happen for a reason. Punya la lalu laju jer depan kita smpi kita pggl pn buat dek, sah mamat ni xbole makan. Haha. Wotever.
Few days later, its final day when I was on stage to be as wot he be. Dengan robe yg berat, which i xmau pkai coz im hoping for PhD robe from MU. As the session ended, it was during lunch time and k.yan was there waiting for me. Here comes the red button pushed. She wanted to snap picture of me n him. Xotai la kalu xmau gambar. Professional ina, professional. Haish, k.yan ni.
Ok la, i never asked for that picture pun till i came to know that she has immediately share it through fb. OMG!!! He acted first and it seems like he didnt favor it. Biasalah, to me, normal reaction. i just keep myself silent when he got into his nerve. K.yan, k.yan. I try my luck to hit the spot. With few hidden questions. Gotcha, he responded and ive got the absolute answer.
Its end there. K.yan try to be matchmaker rupanya. Hahaha. Xjd pun. Hehehe. She kept asking the progress, and ive told her, please la, i cant be with this guy. And she asked me why. Rational is rational and she understood. But she seems help me figure out ways to my true feeling when she said, k.yan rase die tgh sambung belajar. :o)
Wide open heart? See? Gurls, slalu mcm tu, cpt bnor pecah tembok cina ny. Nope, im not. It was rebuilt and continuously rebuilt so i wont have feeling or crush on him. Tolongla. Ina, grows up. U r not girl of age 15 la.
How can I confirm? Wait!!Why should I? Haih.. Otuke? +_+'
Got to share with u, guys that i fall of will turn out to be my bestfriend. Why? I dun think I can be theirs, so to be near, lets make friends. Hahhaa. Sape my best boyfriends? Too many la. It ways for me to block my feeling from carried away. Borink merintih pd yang tentu2 x bersapa tepukan tu. Try to do it.. Its work out well on me.. Fine...
As I try, usaha la nk jadi kwn, (although mls da nk bt kwn baru da umur2 camni..) by texting through fb. PM la which I could confidently said worst text ever!! "En. ****, sy da tukar unit with k.yan. Hope u can assist her in future." Kaitssss kn? Mamat ni mmg pembaris. Da la. Lets try other people la. That might be the reasons why he is still single. Not interested to woman agkny. But dats good to have him as my friends. Hahaha.
Wotever. Maleh la. Dat would not be suitable match la. Gaya gitu, jenuh lak nk bbual, asek kena cari idea n isu. Eh, hahahaha but suddenly I've got respond. He intended to buy me lunch. Me? Org blanja babe, mkn free, ape lg. It was my first lunch nasi arab at IIUM cafe beside B.Muamalat. Urm, sedap gak. Harga pun marvellous. Memang haibat la sepatah kata Danish. Hahaha. Nasib ar, sape suh nk blnja kt ctu. Briyani kambing, mandy lg. Tu je pn yg i familiar with. Huhu.
Wotever reason it might be, the picture brought us nearer. Teman sevillage la katakan. Kena jaga repo la. Hahaha. Next, when txt msg conversed fluently till we can't help losing penny for each txt being sent. I could not define this feeling clearly. And I hate it so much. Chill breaks!! As u go through this experience along with me, u will realize, its a short term feeling of love. But never stop loving people. Never. Sometimes, HE lend u the person for a while, for u to know that someone out there is meant for u. Not to stop urself from searching. Give up is for loser. Stand up n be on ur feet. My beloved best friends, Azua, Jaja n Mon, u guys are my strength at this point. Thank you for always there by my side. Here, for people I love within this life long journey, i thank you so much for hold me up when i stumble.
Lets share this video clip I've obtained from youtube. Credit to the person who made an effort to upload such an amazing masterpiece of work. Thank you for loving me, and count on me.. Thank you!!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
facebook get us closer
Hye there. Lets continue. This blog of mine is for me sharing my thoughts, feelings and perception towards something. It might not in line with ur thought but please do not take this into ur nerve.
With my regular breakfast partner, she frequently motivate me to work on my social relationship. Me? Not interested. Its not denying it but it seems impossible to work on it after thinking of my 24/7 busiest lifestyle. She pick names of iium staff who are still single. After all, one name has caught my intention, but 'xrock' la tnye immediately. Wotever.
Few months later, mcm diatur, someone add me through fb. Who was this guy? Early in d morning, I seek her opinion, should i approve him? "ape salahny berkawan". Actually, i try to look for his fb. Stalker btol. But i cld not find any. Owh, he is using differ spelling of name. Haiyo, why shld u name urself with name which out of norm? Ok!!successfully added.
First, private message has caught my intention: "salam, awk org pontian ke?" only then, i looked on his profile and it shows he comes from my hometown. Walla! Good shot! It continues but stop unexpectedly as he seems irregularly upadte his fb. My word"do.i.look like i care". Boring tggu late reply. Hahaha.
Biasala, lelaki.. Retetan from dat, i received txt msg asking me to be at senate hall for health screening. Number without names means, dat person is not in my list. Ive narrowed it down. Definitely iium staff. It cld be my staff. So, not knowing who d person is, i replied, ill be there. Which then, im not lps k.yan xpegi. I asked k.yan bout d number and requested her to dial through hers but she. refused. But she dialled it using iium hunting line. Someone pick up, owh, its unbelievable when he is the said person. I still kept myself in secured position. Ello, biasala disseminate info pd other staff.
Its kuch kuch. Otuke?
Please avoid me from being hurt at this age. Please. To heal, i might not able to stand back.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Student Clearance System Meeting vs Handphone Number
afternoon guys!!! Ya Allah, i should begins with assalamualaikum kot. still dont get d beat. if Rector knows, i will be immediately being sack from IIUM. :)
Owh, let me story mory on what happened in that meeting. That was an annoying meeting. You might have this in my mind.."haih, budak nie, semua pun annoying kt uiam ni". its true. i was annoyed by this guy who mentioning on IIUM dress code. It was me who initiated three pieces concept at IIUM. people was like never seen such dressing. uuuhhh, CPS staff should not be allowed on that type of dressing. I was treated like challenging the dress code. People who know me out there, am I that kind of person? hahaha. this one guy keep on repeating dress code during clearance system meeting. can u see d relation? i bet u cant. entahla.
wotever, before i take any action, those things have been considered la bro. ape2 la. this meeting should not be attended by me intially, but no one else at CPS that time who fit enough to attend. with blurr mood, i was urged to attend, then, out of sudden i was attacked by this lousy guy, indirectly. :)
now, only me has accessed to d system. other two person were now at KIRKHS and MSD. back to our story. i was attending this meeting with si Dia, boring btol. hahaha. end of d day, he collected attendance. then, out of sudden, he requested all of the members to write down hp number, just in case for futher references. although there was ally mc beal's voice asking me, why is hp number is required. apakah?
lalalalala. kaits kekadang perangai orang UIAM ni!!! why im sharing diz? i guess u can predict why. that times, me also didnt know the hidden agenda behind his action to have all of the members handphone number.
Owh, let me story mory on what happened in that meeting. That was an annoying meeting. You might have this in my mind.."haih, budak nie, semua pun annoying kt uiam ni". its true. i was annoyed by this guy who mentioning on IIUM dress code. It was me who initiated three pieces concept at IIUM. people was like never seen such dressing. uuuhhh, CPS staff should not be allowed on that type of dressing. I was treated like challenging the dress code. People who know me out there, am I that kind of person? hahaha. this one guy keep on repeating dress code during clearance system meeting. can u see d relation? i bet u cant. entahla.
wotever, before i take any action, those things have been considered la bro. ape2 la. this meeting should not be attended by me intially, but no one else at CPS that time who fit enough to attend. with blurr mood, i was urged to attend, then, out of sudden i was attacked by this lousy guy, indirectly. :)
now, only me has accessed to d system. other two person were now at KIRKHS and MSD. back to our story. i was attending this meeting with si Dia, boring btol. hahaha. end of d day, he collected attendance. then, out of sudden, he requested all of the members to write down hp number, just in case for futher references. although there was ally mc beal's voice asking me, why is hp number is required. apakah?
lalalalala. kaits kekadang perangai orang UIAM ni!!! why im sharing diz? i guess u can predict why. that times, me also didnt know the hidden agenda behind his action to have all of the members handphone number.
..when numbers introduced us..
Hye.. I am back.. see?? when my heart is in its level best as all of the application forms are out for kulliyyah's evaluation. Yet, to tell you the truth, I notice that there are 91 forms left at CPS without exact status. Only Asmadi can assist to reduce number of application form pending at CPS by updating list of rejected forms due to incomplete documents. (Academic Credentials and Research Proposal only)
Back to our story. I have mentioned before that he brought me doughnut right. Forgot to say, he left me note but without name. In Malay, "logik x logik tu?". The note written "4046" (my favourite number is 6 while my best friend's is 4). What the hell on earth can I retrieve those numbers. Since I am new, definitely I wont know what was that refers to. the Dean's secretary mentioned the guy name as I am asking, who did this. haha.. garang la cikit.
Owh.. its the extension number. So, should I call? Okla.. make la a courtesy call.. to acknowledge the acceptance of doughnut. I should printed a letter like accepting the application form. Computer generated, signature is not required. hahaha.
Still my uneasy feeling remains and it was first and last I received from him for that year. Maybe he also annoyed as I regularly interrupt the schedule with my language requirement proposal paper. Hello, do I look like, I like doing it? He urges me, you pushing me out.. Dean lagi, dier lagi..
Madam Abazaimah is so new that time, we both together went up the senate hall just because I dont want to meet that annoying guy. Takut sebenarnya.. Masam mencuka dia when I presented the amended version. Amended kot. Typing error. Alamak x bole tolerate langsung.
Ok.. I should go back now. Kak Ita da nak balik ni.. Maghrib da.. to be continued... Next would be on the meeting on Student's clearance system. Urm, this should be shared la.. sebab jarang kot kena meeting dengan mamat ni.. hahaha
Back to our story. I have mentioned before that he brought me doughnut right. Forgot to say, he left me note but without name. In Malay, "logik x logik tu?". The note written "4046" (my favourite number is 6 while my best friend's is 4). What the hell on earth can I retrieve those numbers. Since I am new, definitely I wont know what was that refers to. the Dean's secretary mentioned the guy name as I am asking, who did this. haha.. garang la cikit.
Owh.. its the extension number. So, should I call? Okla.. make la a courtesy call.. to acknowledge the acceptance of doughnut. I should printed a letter like accepting the application form. Computer generated, signature is not required. hahaha.
Still my uneasy feeling remains and it was first and last I received from him for that year. Maybe he also annoyed as I regularly interrupt the schedule with my language requirement proposal paper. Hello, do I look like, I like doing it? He urges me, you pushing me out.. Dean lagi, dier lagi..
Madam Abazaimah is so new that time, we both together went up the senate hall just because I dont want to meet that annoying guy. Takut sebenarnya.. Masam mencuka dia when I presented the amended version. Amended kot. Typing error. Alamak x bole tolerate langsung.
Ok.. I should go back now. Kak Ita da nak balik ni.. Maghrib da.. to be continued... Next would be on the meeting on Student's clearance system. Urm, this should be shared la.. sebab jarang kot kena meeting dengan mamat ni.. hahaha
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Whenever the heartbeat beating fast
Entering the institution has made me know someone which is very annoying. Most of the time, I have been requested to meet him for formal issues. HUH! I hate meeting him cause each times we met, my heart beat fast and the anxious hormone flows throughout my body. Its happened for the past two (2) years ago.
People kept on mentioning his name each month of the Gregorian Calendar neither Hijrah Calendar. I have tried my level best not to get directly involved with him and I do not know why. I just have the uneasy feeling towards him. Meetings, events which involved us will made me stressed and no one knows about this except me. Those awkward feeling was so bad inside me.
To avoid those uneasy feeling, I try to be professional by doing some research on who is this person, how is his characters just to identify why my feeling is this bad towards this guy. Unidentified feeling.
Argh, my colleague, my facebook chat friend has assisted me a lot. Out of nowhere as we were talking bout partner and as I mentioned my intention to be with Johorean, this sister suddenly brought his name and said "...Sis, he is Johorean. And he is still single" Duuuhhhh, no wonder he is single. People are cursing each month cause of the deadline which totally death and could not be negotiated. Erm.. no wonder, he is so much meticulous, fussy, strict, follow the book.. he is a Johorean. Hahaha. Urm.. okies. Time passed by, its been a year, me in here. And to be honest, I love my position which minimize me from meeting him.
But this weird guy has somehow too generous in tighten the colleagues relationship. Within my first year with the institution, he came up to my office left me doughnut. I would not rather risk myself by taking those things from people especially guys. This fella has played a good strategies. He dropped PA of the Dean the same things which made me.. ahaaa, other people also getting the same. Okies, its a treat, which he claimed balance from the meeting. (deep in my heart, apakah?? pahal nak bagi kita lak..) but "orang berbudi, kita berbahasa, orang memberi, kita merasa"
Should I continue? Its almost 2am.. I need to have short break for sleep. To many things to share as I have stopped writing for almost a year. To support me to write more, give me your opinion.. assist me in determining my awkward feeling towards this guy.
People kept on mentioning his name each month of the Gregorian Calendar neither Hijrah Calendar. I have tried my level best not to get directly involved with him and I do not know why. I just have the uneasy feeling towards him. Meetings, events which involved us will made me stressed and no one knows about this except me. Those awkward feeling was so bad inside me.
To avoid those uneasy feeling, I try to be professional by doing some research on who is this person, how is his characters just to identify why my feeling is this bad towards this guy. Unidentified feeling.
Argh, my colleague, my facebook chat friend has assisted me a lot. Out of nowhere as we were talking bout partner and as I mentioned my intention to be with Johorean, this sister suddenly brought his name and said "...Sis, he is Johorean. And he is still single" Duuuhhhh, no wonder he is single. People are cursing each month cause of the deadline which totally death and could not be negotiated. Erm.. no wonder, he is so much meticulous, fussy, strict, follow the book.. he is a Johorean. Hahaha. Urm.. okies. Time passed by, its been a year, me in here. And to be honest, I love my position which minimize me from meeting him.
But this weird guy has somehow too generous in tighten the colleagues relationship. Within my first year with the institution, he came up to my office left me doughnut. I would not rather risk myself by taking those things from people especially guys. This fella has played a good strategies. He dropped PA of the Dean the same things which made me.. ahaaa, other people also getting the same. Okies, its a treat, which he claimed balance from the meeting. (deep in my heart, apakah?? pahal nak bagi kita lak..) but "orang berbudi, kita berbahasa, orang memberi, kita merasa"
Should I continue? Its almost 2am.. I need to have short break for sleep. To many things to share as I have stopped writing for almost a year. To support me to write more, give me your opinion.. assist me in determining my awkward feeling towards this guy.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Love Story of A Simple Little Girl
She fall in love when she was in Standard 3. Sitting beside her was an ordinary boy which not too handsome and not too brilliant. This girl has her own way to psycho and protect herself from falling in love. But this ordinary boy had successfully make her so in love with him. A love that build with a way of Islam. They never have gut to meet for more than 1 hour in fact.
They used to communicate through phone until they declared couple when they were in Form 3. The love journey start.. Once declared, the boy found something different. They became not so truly into each other. They are no longer best friend which actually a thousand reasons created just to end up the relationship. It was a hard time to her. Pretending she is always a happy go lucky girl, she stood up and stand still... Since then, she close tight her feeling towards guy. All guys who she intended to like will be her best friend.
Until one day, she like this guy so much. But obviously, she has a feeling that she will never been seen by him especially. Tactical strategies implied. She get close to one of his friends and here it goes. Just a two or three phone calls made and it stop when he got attached to someone else. (very cute girl)
She? She was technically a very energetic person, never let her tiny feeling encounter the whole body system. That the different. When she entered matriculation center, she attached with this guy but they did not clearly declared. She was too trauma with her first love and she always think that love never meant for her.
The love end quickly, as she was not up to the standard that the guy's family is expecting. In Malay, we used to say "Enggang sama Enggang, pipit sama pipit". Again, she broke into pieces. After 7 years, and when she has that guts, they tear it.
Ever since then, whenever she got a feeling towards man, she will try hard to find his weakness. She decided not to declare any serious relationship with hope that she won't loose the relationship.
Now, the guy that she falls in the first sight came with so many co-incident. The China wall built 8 years in her heart slowly cracked. But she just could not help herself from thinking it wont work smoothly. Pray to HIM almighty is the only way to ensure whether he is the one or not.
Those negative thinking were actually a trauma. A trauma which leads her to be demotivated, demoralized, no confident in any love relationship. is it fair enough to her? (I pun xtau la manusia jenis aper nie). More serious whenever she start thinking of relationship, her mind would be automatically change to further studies. So, whenever she said that she intended to further studies, its means dier ada la yang berkenan di hati.. hahaha..
This is a story that sometimes they think a fairytale but it does exist in our life.
She used to make herself busy whenever she felt lonely and need to be accompanied. Life is short, yesterday, a 32 years old officer at IIUM passed away. I just can help her to pray for her best. For her with love, pray hard to Allah. He knows the best!
Whatever mean dear, kawan-kawan la dulu.. teeettttttt....
To her:
1. Stop comparing
2. Stop psycho yourself. No one is perfect la babe..
3. Think wise is need but think too wise is disaster.. huhuh
They used to communicate through phone until they declared couple when they were in Form 3. The love journey start.. Once declared, the boy found something different. They became not so truly into each other. They are no longer best friend which actually a thousand reasons created just to end up the relationship. It was a hard time to her. Pretending she is always a happy go lucky girl, she stood up and stand still... Since then, she close tight her feeling towards guy. All guys who she intended to like will be her best friend.
Until one day, she like this guy so much. But obviously, she has a feeling that she will never been seen by him especially. Tactical strategies implied. She get close to one of his friends and here it goes. Just a two or three phone calls made and it stop when he got attached to someone else. (very cute girl)
She? She was technically a very energetic person, never let her tiny feeling encounter the whole body system. That the different. When she entered matriculation center, she attached with this guy but they did not clearly declared. She was too trauma with her first love and she always think that love never meant for her.
The love end quickly, as she was not up to the standard that the guy's family is expecting. In Malay, we used to say "Enggang sama Enggang, pipit sama pipit". Again, she broke into pieces. After 7 years, and when she has that guts, they tear it.
Ever since then, whenever she got a feeling towards man, she will try hard to find his weakness. She decided not to declare any serious relationship with hope that she won't loose the relationship.
Now, the guy that she falls in the first sight came with so many co-incident. The China wall built 8 years in her heart slowly cracked. But she just could not help herself from thinking it wont work smoothly. Pray to HIM almighty is the only way to ensure whether he is the one or not.
Those negative thinking were actually a trauma. A trauma which leads her to be demotivated, demoralized, no confident in any love relationship. is it fair enough to her? (I pun xtau la manusia jenis aper nie). More serious whenever she start thinking of relationship, her mind would be automatically change to further studies. So, whenever she said that she intended to further studies, its means dier ada la yang berkenan di hati.. hahaha..
This is a story that sometimes they think a fairytale but it does exist in our life.
She used to make herself busy whenever she felt lonely and need to be accompanied. Life is short, yesterday, a 32 years old officer at IIUM passed away. I just can help her to pray for her best. For her with love, pray hard to Allah. He knows the best!
Whatever mean dear, kawan-kawan la dulu.. teeettttttt....
To her:
1. Stop comparing
2. Stop psycho yourself. No one is perfect la babe..
3. Think wise is need but think too wise is disaster.. huhuh
Monday, September 6, 2010
My Endless Love
My love,
There's only you in my life
The only thing that's right
My first love, (yeah)
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make
And I
(And I-I-I)
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...
(uuuuuh uuuh)
And your eyes
Your eyes, your eyes
They tell me how much you care
Ooh yes, you will always be
My endless love
Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun
And Forever
(Forever)
I'll hold you close in my arms
I can't resist your charms
(no no no no noooo)
And love
and, love
I'll be a fool
For you,
(noney) I'm sure
You know I don't mind
Oh, you know I don't mind
'Cause baby you,
(baby baby baby baby)
You mean the world to me
Oh
I know
I've found in you
My endless love
yeee ee eeeee
Oooh-woow
do do do do do
do do do do do
do do doo doo
Oooh, and love
Oh, love
I'll be that fool
For you,
I'm sure
That You know I don't mind
Oh you know-
I don't mind
And, YES
You'll be the only one
'Cause no one no one can deny
This love I have inside
And I'll give it all to you
My love
My love, my love
My endless love
**Goodluck.. Hope this Eidulfitri would bring 1000 joys to both of you..
I will keep on updating this love story of my beloved soulmate so that we could share every moment with all unless it ended badly, I would say, someone will be killed… HUH!
There's only you in my life
The only thing that's right
My first love, (yeah)
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make
And I
(And I-I-I)
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...
(uuuuuh uuuh)
And your eyes
Your eyes, your eyes
They tell me how much you care
Ooh yes, you will always be
My endless love
Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun
And Forever
(Forever)
I'll hold you close in my arms
I can't resist your charms
(no no no no noooo)
And love
and, love
I'll be a fool
For you,
(noney) I'm sure
You know I don't mind
Oh, you know I don't mind
'Cause baby you,
(baby baby baby baby)
You mean the world to me
Oh
I know
I've found in you
My endless love
yeee ee eeeee
Oooh-woow
do do do do do
do do do do do
do do doo doo
Oooh, and love
Oh, love
I'll be that fool
For you,
I'm sure
That You know I don't mind
Oh you know-
I don't mind
And, YES
You'll be the only one
'Cause no one no one can deny
This love I have inside
And I'll give it all to you
My love
My love, my love
My endless love
**Goodluck.. Hope this Eidulfitri would bring 1000 joys to both of you..
I will keep on updating this love story of my beloved soulmate so that we could share every moment with all unless it ended badly, I would say, someone will be killed… HUH!
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