She fall in love when she was in Standard 3. Sitting beside her was an ordinary boy which not too handsome and not too brilliant. This girl has her own way to psycho and protect herself from falling in love. But this ordinary boy had successfully make her so in love with him. A love that build with a way of Islam. They never have gut to meet for more than 1 hour in fact.
They used to communicate through phone until they declared couple when they were in Form 3. The love journey start.. Once declared, the boy found something different. They became not so truly into each other. They are no longer best friend which actually a thousand reasons created just to end up the relationship. It was a hard time to her. Pretending she is always a happy go lucky girl, she stood up and stand still... Since then, she close tight her feeling towards guy. All guys who she intended to like will be her best friend.
Until one day, she like this guy so much. But obviously, she has a feeling that she will never been seen by him especially. Tactical strategies implied. She get close to one of his friends and here it goes. Just a two or three phone calls made and it stop when he got attached to someone else. (very cute girl)
She? She was technically a very energetic person, never let her tiny feeling encounter the whole body system. That the different. When she entered matriculation center, she attached with this guy but they did not clearly declared. She was too trauma with her first love and she always think that love never meant for her.
The love end quickly, as she was not up to the standard that the guy's family is expecting. In Malay, we used to say "Enggang sama Enggang, pipit sama pipit". Again, she broke into pieces. After 7 years, and when she has that guts, they tear it.
Ever since then, whenever she got a feeling towards man, she will try hard to find his weakness. She decided not to declare any serious relationship with hope that she won't loose the relationship.
Now, the guy that she falls in the first sight came with so many co-incident. The China wall built 8 years in her heart slowly cracked. But she just could not help herself from thinking it wont work smoothly. Pray to HIM almighty is the only way to ensure whether he is the one or not.
Those negative thinking were actually a trauma. A trauma which leads her to be demotivated, demoralized, no confident in any love relationship. is it fair enough to her? (I pun xtau la manusia jenis aper nie). More serious whenever she start thinking of relationship, her mind would be automatically change to further studies. So, whenever she said that she intended to further studies, its means dier ada la yang berkenan di hati.. hahaha..
This is a story that sometimes they think a fairytale but it does exist in our life.
She used to make herself busy whenever she felt lonely and need to be accompanied. Life is short, yesterday, a 32 years old officer at IIUM passed away. I just can help her to pray for her best. For her with love, pray hard to Allah. He knows the best!
Whatever mean dear, kawan-kawan la dulu.. teeettttttt....
To her:
1. Stop comparing
2. Stop psycho yourself. No one is perfect la babe..
3. Think wise is need but think too wise is disaster.. huhuh
Monday, November 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
