When you put HIM aside for one second after a great moment HE gave you.

I have stopped from writing on this blog after experiencing very big changes in my life. It was so much hurt and a deep adult hurt which somehow beyond my expectation. It starts when I felt certain of settling down. It was two (2) months back and things were happened because of me.

I am sharing this just to ensure people did not repeat the same mistake. After waiting for two (2) years admiring and hoping for someone which you never have chances to be near him be with you, at last, the law of attraction with HIS guidance have put us together. When I know that I just could not afford of losing him, I was selfish. I left HIM from being part of our relationship. I was too afraid.. Too afraid that he is not the owner of the rib that I am holding of.

Cherish all the great moments, sharing thoughts and feelings.. Try knowing the positives and negatives side of us have led us to a serious talk. Allow me to quote lyrics bulan ditutup awan.. “Wahai janji setia sudah diucapkan. Aduh, kata bersumpah telah kupadukan..” The courage inside me made me so confident and certain of this relationship.

Here when it comes, when you try to avoid HIS involvement in your life. When you intentionally did not seek HIS guidance in deciding on this relationship because of your selfishness and too carried away by the miracle which HE is the one who made all those arrangement. And HE allowed you to design your life like you wanted to. Till you at last realized that you just could not go further without HIS blessing.

Things changed drastically when I tie a promise with HIM that I will be marrying him if and only if I successfully completed reciting Al-Quran (khatam) in which to be honest, I have tried so many years to complete but due to self intervention I failed in accomplishing it. Itulah dia.. manusia mudah leka dengan nikmat dan pemberianNya.

In fact, I have put my deep believe of HIM in deciding what best for me by a short note to Sr. Masita before she left for umrah. She read my prayer to HIM and within those two (2) weeks (she still performing her umrah) HE has answered my prayer. Ya Allah, I am so sorry for the worst things I have ever done.

The faith took charged and we were totally separated. He is in his own way.. and me on mine.. Itulah dia “jodoh dan pertemuan itu di tangan Tuhan”. HE loves me so much. I should realize that earlier. HE has been there to assist me and guide me whenever I need. All I have to do is just to sincerely put my du’a (request) to HIM.

HIS has been there since I am broke after losing RM60K, since I have been push towards my limit during completing my master, since I was jobless after pull out from UKM, HE gave me opportunity to be an officer at Johor, Johor Port Authority. Then I felt lonely staying far alone, I wished days and nights to be transferred and HE answered again. I have received offer from IIUM within two weeks of my present at Pasir Gudang. Now, HE arranged my wish (since I am a kid) to met person from my hometown.

I was a jerk for not thanking HIM of what HE did to me. And again, I am hoping HIS assistance and guidance to put me back in order. I have losing my track, and HE knows it well. So, please people out there, HE should be the DIRECTOR and PRODUCER of our life. Never decide without HIS guidance. Only HE has the ultimate power, no matter how perfect the plans and designs you have made.

For HIM, I am reserving my life for your re-consideration.
For him, I hope it’s the best. Kita merancang, tuhan menentukan.
For me, I should say (with mood “terukir dibintang”), as of now, this heart is just no longer belongs to me. But I seek HIS assistance to bring it back to me from him if he turns out not to be the correct owner of the rib I am holding and he is not my true HERO and IMAM.

Happy sharing! Yakin dengan ketentuanNya dan berserah.. insyaAllah..

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