Trigger has been pulled and hit us in deep

Gosh! Staying in this room quietly has initiated my mood to update this blog. Wait, let me place my order first. Urm, Mc Donald je la. Let start the story. It was 27th convocation, the history repeated. Everytimes I saw PhD graduan pass by stage, my heart eagerly urge me to pursue my studies. Best part is, this time, I text my previous lecturer who is currently trn out to be the head of department. Wot a great start. He willingly welcome me to join the FEA back. Im lucky as Ive also obtained positive feedback from my former fellow who is now holding a post as a Deputy Dean (PGR) at Sport Centre, MU. Join supervisor is possible. Urm, I promise my former supervisor, Dr. ALI that we will have an appointment to discuss on my research topic.

The point is, its like "hot hot chicken shit" when no follow up ever made since that. Ive been transferred to the Admission unit which doesnt permit me to start my PhD. Work constraint. Perhaps, i can leave CPS with good improvement on the admission processes. Things happen for a reason. No problem. Its Rezza's graduation day when he was on duty to hand scroll to the Deputy Dean, A&R. Since this happen before October, I should proudly called A&R. Hahha. Tetibe nada dengki kuar.

Mak ai, mcm org nk g menikah lagak gayany. Hahaha. I was with k.yan mase tu. Sambil gelak2 ckp psl mamat ni. "amboi k.yan, bkn main lagi org tua ats stage tu usha makwe br grad". We bumped several times, but he seems too busy kononnya. In fact, I try to stop him. Tapi, its lucky for not stopping him or else, definitely the whole family will be introduced to him indirectly. See? Things happen for a reason. Punya la lalu laju jer depan kita smpi kita pggl pn buat dek, sah mamat ni xbole makan. Haha. Wotever.

Few days later, its final day when I was on stage to be as wot he be. Dengan robe yg berat, which i xmau pkai coz im hoping for PhD robe from MU. As the session ended, it was during lunch time and k.yan was there waiting for me. Here comes the red button pushed. She wanted to snap picture of me n him. Xotai la kalu xmau gambar. Professional ina, professional. Haish, k.yan ni.

Ok la, i never asked for that picture pun till i came to know that she has immediately share it through fb. OMG!!! He acted first and it seems like he didnt favor it. Biasalah, to me, normal reaction. i just keep myself silent when he got into his nerve. K.yan, k.yan. I try my luck to hit the spot. With few hidden questions. Gotcha, he responded and ive got the absolute answer.

Its end there. K.yan try to be matchmaker rupanya. Hahaha. Xjd pun. Hehehe. She kept asking the progress, and ive told her, please la, i cant be with this guy. And she asked me why. Rational is rational and she understood. But she seems help me figure out ways to my true feeling when she said, k.yan rase die tgh sambung belajar. :o)

Wide open heart? See? Gurls, slalu mcm tu, cpt bnor pecah tembok cina ny. Nope, im not. It was rebuilt and continuously rebuilt so i wont have feeling or crush on him. Tolongla. Ina, grows up. U r not girl of age 15 la.

How can I confirm? Wait!!Why should I? Haih.. Otuke? +_+'

Got to share with u, guys that i fall of will turn out to be my bestfriend. Why? I dun think I can be theirs, so to be near, lets make friends. Hahhaa. Sape my best boyfriends? Too many la. It ways for me to block my feeling from carried away. Borink merintih pd yang tentu2 x bersapa tepukan tu. Try to do it.. Its work out well on me.. Fine...

As I try, usaha la nk jadi kwn, (although mls da nk bt kwn baru da umur2 camni..) by texting through fb. PM la which I could confidently said worst text ever!! "En. ****, sy da tukar unit with k.yan. Hope u can assist her in future." Kaitssss kn? Mamat ni mmg pembaris. Da la. Lets try other people la. That might be the reasons why he is still single. Not interested to woman agkny. But dats good to have him as my friends. Hahaha.

Wotever. Maleh la. Dat would not be suitable match la. Gaya gitu, jenuh lak nk bbual, asek kena cari idea n isu. Eh, hahahaha but suddenly I've got respond. He intended to buy me lunch. Me? Org blanja babe, mkn free, ape lg. It was my first lunch nasi arab at IIUM cafe beside B.Muamalat. Urm, sedap gak. Harga pun marvellous. Memang haibat la sepatah kata Danish. Hahaha. Nasib ar, sape suh nk blnja kt ctu. Briyani kambing, mandy lg. Tu je pn yg i familiar with. Huhu.

Wotever reason it might be, the picture brought us nearer. Teman sevillage la katakan. Kena jaga repo la. Hahaha. Next, when txt msg conversed fluently till we can't help losing penny for each txt being sent. I could not define this feeling clearly. And I hate it so much. Chill breaks!! As u go through this experience along with me, u will realize, its a short term feeling of love. But never stop loving people. Never. Sometimes, HE lend u the person for a while, for u to know that someone out there is meant for u. Not to stop urself from searching. Give up is for loser. Stand up n be on ur feet. My beloved best friends, Azua, Jaja n Mon, u guys are my strength at this point. Thank you for always there by my side. Here, for people I love within this life long journey, i thank you so much for hold me up when i stumble.

Lets share this video clip I've obtained from youtube. Credit to the person who made an effort to upload such an amazing masterpiece of work. Thank you for loving me, and count on me.. Thank you!!

facebook get us closer

Hye there. Lets continue. This blog of mine is for me sharing my thoughts, feelings and perception towards something. It might not in line with ur thought but please do not take this into ur nerve.

With my regular breakfast partner, she frequently motivate me to work on my social relationship. Me? Not interested. Its not denying it but it seems impossible to work on it after thinking of my 24/7 busiest lifestyle. She pick names of iium staff who are still single. After all, one name has caught my intention, but 'xrock' la tnye immediately. Wotever.

Few months later, mcm diatur, someone add me through fb. Who was this guy? Early in d morning, I seek her opinion, should i approve him? "ape salahny berkawan". Actually, i try to look for his fb. Stalker btol. But i cld not find any. Owh, he is using differ spelling of name. Haiyo, why shld u name urself with name which out of norm? Ok!!successfully added.

First, private message has caught my intention: "salam, awk org pontian ke?" only then, i looked on his profile and it shows he comes from my hometown. Walla! Good shot! It continues but stop unexpectedly as he seems irregularly upadte his fb. My word"do.i.look like i care". Boring tggu late reply. Hahaha.

Biasala, lelaki.. Retetan from dat, i received txt msg asking me to be at senate hall for health screening. Number without names means, dat person is not in my list. Ive narrowed it down. Definitely iium staff. It cld be my staff. So, not knowing who d person is, i replied, ill be there. Which then, im not lps k.yan xpegi. I asked k.yan bout d number and requested her to dial through hers but she. refused. But she dialled it using iium hunting line. Someone pick up, owh, its unbelievable when he is the said person. I still kept myself in secured position. Ello, biasala disseminate info pd other staff.

Its kuch kuch. Otuke?

Please avoid me from being hurt at this age. Please. To heal, i might not able to stand back.