Love Story of A Simple Little Girl

She fall in love when she was in Standard 3. Sitting beside her was an ordinary boy which not too handsome and not too brilliant. This girl has her own way to psycho and protect herself from falling in love. But this ordinary boy had successfully make her so in love with him. A love that build with a way of Islam. They never have gut to meet for more than 1 hour in fact.

They used to communicate through phone until they declared couple when they were in Form 3. The love journey start.. Once declared, the boy found something different. They became not so truly into each other. They are no longer best friend which actually a thousand reasons created just to end up the relationship. It was a hard time to her. Pretending she is always a happy go lucky girl, she stood up and stand still... Since then, she close tight her feeling towards guy. All guys who she intended to like will be her best friend.

Until one day, she like this guy so much. But obviously, she has a feeling that she will never been seen by him especially. Tactical strategies implied. She get close to one of his friends and here it goes. Just a two or three phone calls made and it stop when he got attached to someone else. (very cute girl)

She? She was technically a very energetic person, never let her tiny feeling encounter the whole body system. That the different. When she entered matriculation center, she attached with this guy but they did not clearly declared. She was too trauma with her first love and she always think that love never meant for her.

The love end quickly, as she was not up to the standard that the guy's family is expecting. In Malay, we used to say "Enggang sama Enggang, pipit sama pipit". Again, she broke into pieces. After 7 years, and when she has that guts, they tear it.

Ever since then, whenever she got a feeling towards man, she will try hard to find his weakness. She decided not to declare any serious relationship with hope that she won't loose the relationship.

Now, the guy that she falls in the first sight came with so many co-incident. The China wall built 8 years in her heart slowly cracked. But she just could not help herself from thinking it wont work smoothly. Pray to HIM almighty is the only way to ensure whether he is the one or not.

Those negative thinking were actually a trauma. A trauma which leads her to be demotivated, demoralized, no confident in any love relationship. is it fair enough to her? (I pun xtau la manusia jenis aper nie). More serious whenever she start thinking of relationship, her mind would be automatically change to further studies. So, whenever she said that she intended to further studies, its means dier ada la yang berkenan di hati.. hahaha..

This is a story that sometimes they think a fairytale but it does exist in our life.

She used to make herself busy whenever she felt lonely and need to be accompanied. Life is short, yesterday, a 32 years old officer at IIUM passed away. I just can help her to pray for her best. For her with love, pray hard to Allah. He knows the best!

Whatever mean dear, kawan-kawan la dulu.. teeettttttt....

To her:
1. Stop comparing
2. Stop psycho yourself. No one is perfect la babe..
3. Think wise is need but think too wise is disaster.. huhuh

My Endless Love

My love,
There's only you in my life
The only thing that's right

My first love, (yeah)
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make

And I
(And I-I-I)
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...
(uuuuuh uuuh)

And your eyes
Your eyes, your eyes
They tell me how much you care
Ooh yes, you will always be
My endless love

Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun

And Forever
(Forever)
I'll hold you close in my arms
I can't resist your charms
(no no no no noooo)

And love
and, love
I'll be a fool
For you,
(noney) I'm sure
You know I don't mind
Oh, you know I don't mind

'Cause baby you,
(baby baby baby baby)
You mean the world to me
Oh
I know
I've found in you
My endless love

yeee ee eeeee
Oooh-woow
do do do do do
do do do do do
do do doo doo

Oooh, and love
Oh, love
I'll be that fool
For you,
I'm sure
That You know I don't mind
Oh you know-
I don't mind

And, YES
You'll be the only one
'Cause no one no one can deny
This love I have inside
And I'll give it all to you
My love
My love, my love
My endless love

**Goodluck.. Hope this Eidulfitri would bring 1000 joys to both of you..

I will keep on updating this love story of my beloved soulmate so that we could share every moment with all unless it ended badly, I would say, someone will be killed… HUH!

The Moment of Truth (HIM and HER)

September 6, 2010
Feeling of today:
Wake up early and my eyes and fingers just could not stop me from searching for something which is a handphone. She deleting all the messages either inbox or sent items. I can smell something is going on. They will have again a date on Wednesday. But after reluctant to bring me together, she at last agreed. It was after very big arguments between both of us. Tentatively, the date with him will be at Alamanda. Wanna join? Let’s come. After iftar, I will leave them to settle things out. To trash all the problems and resolved it.

Deep, deep in my heart, I can see that there will no solutions to the problem. Why? She still love him but the guy is too blur and parent pet which always fall into dilemma and unable to identify his feeling.
One of the messages proofs the feeling of the girl towards the guy. “Please sort things out before I love you again”. The guy knew how truth is her love towards him but, there is something hurdle him to make his decision which no one would not able to know. This secretive person has dragged the story into a complicated situation. He is nice but too poor in decision making. I think it was the heart and feeling problem. I was actually do not have guts to meet him personally, but the book titled “Bila Allah Menduga Kita” has really help things out. The sentence “Never has negative thinking towards HIM (ALLAH)” has made my heart calm and steady. If he is the person, I would just pray to Allah for HIS guidance.


This situation has taught me something. Love is Blind.. Haha.. the oldies statement is still available in this millennium year. It has brought me to my own experience. I never have partner since our relationship put into ends by none appropriate reasons to him but it’s really matter to me. I kept myself busy with works and being at IIUM has improved my ways of life by coloring it with Islamic values. I think it is too much for me when I failed twice in my relationship. Sitting all alone in darkness of the room made me thinking wisely. I could not be the factors that distract the smoothness of the relationship. May be the time has come for me to be independent. HE knows better while I am just a very tiny creation designed by HIM.

Dizzy day with bad cough and chestpain

Dear diary,

I am M.C today although I didn't like to have one in my records. After suffering 2 weeks of bad cough, some of my friends, colleagues, even the PG students ahd shown their concern on me. I was very overwhelmed to have them. The concern has some how helping me ease my pain.

Today, I'm planning to finish up all the documentation for ISO purposes. However, the cough has restricted me to do so. What should I do? Ok, lets talk bout serious thing here.

Early in the morning, I have received sms from the old friend of mine, Noreen. She was requesting for my address to send me the wedding card. erm.. I used to talk to three of my close friends, azua, mama yana and mon, planning to go for an UMRAH. I think, we have to make ourselves close to HIM. Hoping HE could help us on our relationship..

Always aims for the moon..

Always aims for the moon..
I was dying living in a stack of work everyday and every night. I lost my weight and my energy. Each day, I comfort myself with a brand new day and spirit. It decrease as I bend my body just to open the office door. I am workaholic person and I could not deny it. The situation in this office has taught me of variety human thinking and work style. Let me share something. I have few characters in my office. I will share it in my next post. Wait and see.. Whether you fall in one of it. Let me think and elaborate later.. Nite, nite

How I miss my jotter book!!

Being part of Centre for Postgraduate Studies members are things which never cross my mind. In fact, to be honest, I had never expect myself being part of IIUM teams. The most busiest moments in my life which somehow, I do really enjoy it.

It was hard to explain this. CPS make my life agressive and someone there really adore me. People might not like it but i just felt totally the other way round. Maybe the delegation of works with least supervision make me like the way things go. By the way, its not comparing but i should call it analysis.

Between this 2 bosses I have experienced with, I prefered CPS. More or less, he actually know the target. You will be appreciating those initiative once you went out of this confine workplace.

I have been here for 4 months almost and I lost 5 kg for the stressful work I had ever experience. How should I put it in words.. I suffered from stress but I like working in administrative part and managing things that related to academic.

Should I switch? Me could not rectify it either. Now, I fall into one page.. permanent post. This time, I like the institution so much.. I just could not stop loving this place. Hope I might have fate in there.. after 8 years being inside there.. I really want to spend my life serving this institution...

Lucky

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